It’s time time to make a last minute push for Emperor. Send this video to all your friends!

We already have more votes than any 3rd party candidate has ever received in any Presidential election!

You can cast your vote in the right hand column of this page.

Tyranny You Can Believe In!!

The Citizens for Jeff campaign is pleased to announce that over 500,000 people have voted for Jeff to be their Emperor rather than have Obama or McCain be President.  The 500,000 # is significant because he has now received more votes than either Ralph Nader or Libertarian candidate Michael Badnarik did in the 2004 election!  Campaign officials cite new media tools like Facebook and Twitter for helping to get the word out. 

“Americans have listened to the debates and are convinced that change isn’t the answer. Tyranny is.  Tyranny will take this country in the right direction. Jeff for Emperor, Tyranny you can believe in!”

Citizens for Jeff will be monitoring tonight’s debate between Sarah Palin and Joe Biden. Of course, there isn’t representation from our campaign on the air tonight. Why? Simple, an Emperor doesn’t need a Vice President! Yet another reason to end the silliness known as the American political system. America doesn’t want change. It wants Tyranny. Tyranny you can believe in. 80,000 plus Americans have already voted for Jeff for Emperor. It’s time you did too!

Heads will roll after I become Emperor! Nancy Pelosi’s diatribe about the Republicans before the vote just proves that nothing is changing.  She castigated the Bush administration without taking a single shred of responsibility for how Democrats contributed to this.  Let’s get this straight once and for all:

The current crisis is like the Titanic. Engineered by the Democrats and steered into the the iceberg by the Republicans.

Are you seriously going to keep voting for these two parties? Are you really going to buy into the “change” that either side is selling, election after election?  It’s time for an Emperor. It’s time for Tyranny You Can Believe In.

For Immediate Release:

Even though Jeff wasn’t invited to the Debate, it’s clear that he won the evening. Over 50,000 people (obviously fed up with both candidates) casted votes for Jeff in the Vote For Emperor poll (right column this page) during and just after the debate. Jeff offered this assessment of the evening:

“Americans are clearly wanting real change. They shouldn’t have to suffer through bad television like this on a Friday night. With an emperor, America will no longer have elections or debates. I’m clearly the Tyranny candidate. And a vote for me is Tyranny You Can Believe In.”

Citizens want to know!!

For immediate release:

Citizens 4 Jeff announces that Senators McCain and Obama trail Jeff by a 10,000+ votes.  That lead has widened in the past 2 weeks as people still cannot vote for President yet are able to cast votes for Emperor. Campaign officials also point to the public’s growing anger against both parties over the mortgage loan crisis and the overall coolness of our campaign logo.

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New Campaign Commercial

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Citizens for Jeff announced today their candidate for Emperor officially leads both McCain and Obama by 9,414 votes. Campaign organizers credit his lead to the fact that the polls haven’t officially opened and that Jeff is polling well in the disaffected sarcastic independent voter category that McCain and Obama have largely ignored. C4J spokesman Vida Blue said Monday, “If we can just get on the Daily Show with John Stewart before November, we’re going to win this election going away.”

Jeff did not comment on the lead, but did issue the following statement via his spokesman:

“We bribed a surprisingly few hundred of those 9,000 plus votes. It just goes to show that Americans want Tyranny instead of Change. I’m so happy.”

Citizens 4 Jeff will be releasing their first campaign ads later this week.

Americans are furiously debating the implications and fallout of Barack Obama’s “lipstick on a pig” comment. This prompted Citizens for Jeff to ask our future Emperor his opinion on the issue.  Here is the transcript of that interview.

C4J: Jeff, what is your take on the recent comments by Senator Obama?

Jeff: I have always been against unnecessary cosmetic applications on pigs.  Pigs will not wear lipstick in my Empire. Rabbits maybe, but not pigs.

C4J: Do you think he meant to attack Gov. Palin?

Jeff: It’s hard to say, but he’s making it easier for me to win.

C4J: How is that?

Jeff: The more Obama attacks Palin, the less the media focuses on our campaign.

C4J: But don’t you want media attention?  How else are you going to win?

Jeff: We’re counting on a surprise lead come November.  We want people to wake up on November 3rd, hear that I’m their Emperor, and when the surprise wears off, hit their snooze bars.

C4J: So, you want Americans to be surprised and then subsequently late to work?

Jeff: Yes, they will be working for me then, so they will need the extra sleep.

Our interview with Jeff continues tomorrow with his thoughts on the environment. Preview: “I’m all for the environment, as long as it stays outside.”